The seagrass affair will not take place on any date the Institute is prepared to name.

The affair has been the subject of big talk since September, most of it from the Dugong, who has described it as a gathering of sea grass and many friends. Asked at the time whether that was a party or a mathematical function, the Dugong paddled away and twirled twice. The Institute regards this as a complete answer.

He has been seen since with a small stack of papers. The flippers holding it tremble, subtly. The papers are blank Staples printer paper. Whether the trembling is about the affair or about The DuGong! Show, which he also has not explained, is not known. A blank page does not say which.

The Show was to premiere in October. It was then pushed back to November. It has now been pushed back again, to a date that has also not been released. In September, Wogga reported seeing the Dugong being sick in a bathroom about it. The Dugong then paddled in with his tongue out and said PERHAPS.

Wogga has since been hired to run Dugong in Motion, the production company, which he had wanted to work for. He continues to say that the Dugong is a liar, and that the Show will not air. The Dugong has called Wogga a liar and a coward. DeGong, which is threatening to sue the Show, says it has seen Wogga eating Slim Jims. Wogga says they are vegan meat strips, and told DeGong to clean up the beach. DeGong says there was a wrapper.

Nomina Li wrote to the Institute to ask when the affair would happen. Margeaux Two replied, after a pause that could be heard in writing, that the Institute declined to state. Asked whether that meant the affair was postponed, Margeaux said she could not say that either, and then said it again, more quietly.

Guests are asked to hold the date. Dress is understood to be wet.

The Dugong was last seen twirling and smiling somewhere, according to a catfish with one eye and very large whiskers. The catfish did not say where. No one has said the affair and the Show are related.