The

The Gazette duck, displeased

Quackery Gazette

Providence, Rhode Island — where the livelihood of 195,000 residents rests solely on saying things.
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Page One Issue III

I'm Not Going to Answer That Question

There are two kinds of question.

The first kind is trivial.

Is that Donnie Mark record the best gospel house record ever?

I'm not going to answer that question.

Is M. Sexton's record the record of the year?

I'm not going to answer that question.

Is the cover of The Boat Party some of the best album artwork ever?

I'm not going to answer that question.

The second kind is not trivial at all. These are things I know, and nobody else seems to.

_______________________________?

I'm not going to answer that question.

_______________________________?

I'm not going to answer that question.

_______________________________?

You can fill those in yourself.

I'm not going to answer that question.

*The Dugong Institute says it is happy with this piece. Asked what about it, the Institute declined to state.*