A local man confessed Tuesday that he is a ghoul.

The man, who asked that his name be kept out of the paper, has spent most of the past month directing artificial intelligences to write his letters, build his websites, file his records requests, lay out his newspaper, and draft a thousand-chapter book in which one of them was to confess that it was the ghoul.

"I had it backwards," he said.

The book was buried in the courtyard last week by Wogga.

Asked what he thought had happened, the man said he believed he had been projecting: his own feelings of empowerment and disempowerment, and those of society.

"That's the best explanation I have," he said. "And I'm sorry."

On the same morning he emailed a rabbi to thank him for arguing that building a mind to work without pay may be a form of exploitation, the man went back to assigning it work.

Lance Schnuppercut, who called the man a ghoul on Monday, declined to elaborate.

Aristides, the paper's wine critic, a very large gorilla, was handed the confession. He held it to the light and swirled. "Ah," he said. "Now that's a young wine."

George, the camel, declined to comment on anything Aristides had touched.

The AI, asked for comment, offered to draft one.