These are the rules of my gym. I did not write them. They were there when I got there. I am writing them down because people keep asking, and the asking is the first violation.

1. Lower your eyes when I cross the floor. In a good way. You will know the difference.

2. Do not drop anything from height. Not the bar, not yourself. I know about dropping. I do not do it anymore.

3. Wipe it down. What you leave behind is a statement about you, and everybody reads it.

4. A water bottle is not a deed. If mine is by the station, I was there. If you put yours in front of mine, you have not claimed the station. You have put a bottle on the floor. A common mistake happens. Then comes the next rule.

5. Ask to work in. "Hey guys, do you mind if I work in?" That is the whole sentence. The answer is yes. It is not a harrumph. It is not "yeah, okay, whatever." It is yes.

6. It is not your gym. It is not mine either. Nobody owns this place. Not me, not you, not anyone else.

7. If you claim it, use it. Standing next to the equipment, talking, frozen, while somebody else does the sets, is not a workout. It is a vigil.

8. When somebody asks to work in, the answer is: of course. You know why? Because that is what we do. We share things. Somebody asked me while the two of them stood there. I said of course. They watched. Then they slowly walked away.

9. Do not stare. One of them did, later. I got thrown out. I am fine with that. In my moat, nobody has leverage over me. I got in the car and drove north alone, and I will come back when the room turns.

10. Why is it a secret. Wise eat a see crit. Everybody already knows the rules. That is why there are rules.